Here's a brief list of my strangest wishes:
I wish that the British had defeated us in the American Revolutionary War. Even better, I truly wish that war had never begun. I'm always bummed out when I get to that part of history when we declare war. And even though I know fully well that the Americans will win, there's always this funny little irrational part of me that keeps cheering on the Brits.
I also wish that Jesus had not died on the cross. I'm very attracted to various theories that he actually did not die on the cross at all but survived the crucifixion. My favorite story is that he was spirited away and eventually ended up in India. I probably began entertaining this comforting historical revisionism after reading the Laughing Savior and the Last Temptation of Christ when I was a teenager. The unlikelihood of this wish really bothers me especially during Passion Week. Could Maundy Thursday be any more depressing?
More personally, I wish that I had not bothered with a graduate education. That was a waste of time and money. Oh well, that train has left the station and now I have to put up with the consequences: poverty, disillusionment, anxiety and guilt. *sigh*
I suppose I can pretend that Jesus survived (No one can really prove otherwise) and just try not to dwell on the Revolutionary War (sucks that I have to teach about it every effing year) and maybe pretend I don't have this damn degree and just imagine that my enormous worthless debt is because I had some kind of gambling problem or bought a couple houses, forgot to ensure them, and then lost them both to very localized flooding.